Radio Ray

Today fm has ‘Radio Roy’ but here in worldwidecycles we have a new cycling version called Radio Ray . Here is a transcript of the first episode in the current series :

‘ Hallo and welcome to this , the first edition of our new show called Radio Ray . Over the coming season we hope to bring you all of the latest news , gossip and commentaries on the Irish cycling scene . We also hope to have a number of interviews with some of the main protagonists throughout the year . We will also be taking calls from any interested listeners and should have some lively debate on whatever issues that you ,the listener decide should be on the agenda .

So without further ado let’s get this show underway and it looks like we have a caller on the line already ,

‘Hallo caller , who have we got on the line ?’

‘ Hello Ray , best of luck with the new show , this is Micky here . I was just wondering if you could give me some advice regarding road rage on the bike ‘

‘Is that road rash or road rage that you are talking about Micky ?’

‘Road rage Ray . To give you an example , the other morning I was out doing a bit of sprint training on the Dungarvan road when out of nowhere comes this fella in a big jeep and he starts blowing me out of it . I was doing nothing out of the way and was keeping my line in near the ditch as good as possible . I deliberately do this early in the morning so that the roads will be quiet but I still managed to come across this banker in his big jeep .’

‘Now Micky, I hope that you  kept your cool and that you didn’t do anything stupid ‘

‘Well not exactly stupid Ray , but maybe a little on the aggressive side ,

‘What exactly did you do Micky’

‘Well he actually pulled over after I gave him the finger for blowing me out of it and I kinda ummm , expressed myself with a physical gesture ‘

‘What kind of physical gesture was that Micky ?’

‘A kind of a bunched up cycling glove right in the jaw through the open window of the jeep’

‘ Oh now Micky , I do hope that you realise that violence does not solve anything and that you are now going to tell me how much you regret resorting to that form of retaliation ‘

‘Well now Ray , I was regretting it a bit when he followed me all the way down through the town and I had to go up a few lane-ways to shake him off but I really regretted it later that evening ‘

‘Was that when you got home and had a chance to consider your actions . Did you feel bad for letting yourself get carried away ?’

‘Well not exactly Ray . The thing is , I sell insurance door to door for a living and that evening I was doing my calls as usual when I knocked on a particular door ‘

‘And who answered the door , was it another aggressive banker type of person? ‘

‘No it was the guy that I had the run in with that morning . Luckily I was in the suit and tie so he didn’t recognise me but I got a fair fright . The gas thing is  that because I was there and couldn’t let on anything I still had to give him the spiel about the insurance and he actually signed up for it . I even made a good commission out of it ‘

‘Well Micky , I do hope that you learned some sort of lesson there , even if it was just that you never know where you might bump into someone that you have a run in with . Now we seem to have another caller on line two . Over to you caller , what’s your name and what can we do for you today ? ‘

‘Hi Ray , Patsy here , I was wondering if you could help me out on something ?’

‘Go ahead Patsy , we’re here to help ‘

‘Well Ray the thing is , I keep getting punctures , especially during the winter and twice now I’ve torn through the tyre and had to call home for the missus to come out to collect me . I can tell ya that she wasn’t a bit impressed ,and that’s puttin it mildly ‘

‘Did she not appreciate the opportunity for some fresh air and a nice drive in the country Patsy ?’

‘She did in me arse Ray , I mean , no not really . Especially when she had to load up the four kids and the Labrador pup into the back of the car seeing that she couldn’t leave them all at home on their own ‘

‘And were you far from home when you ran into trouble Patsy?’

‘I was about thirty miles from home on bad ould roads so it took her nearly an hour to find me . Then by the time we got home the water in the pot of spuds had all dried up and there was some smell of burning in the house . The smoke alarm was blaring and the dinner was in shite . The smell of burnt spuds is still in the house .’

‘I’d say you were flavour of the month after that Patsy ‘

‘Flavour of the month is right Ray . Sure she’s still not talking to me . ‘Tis all picture and no sound for nearly a week now . The thing is , I hate carrying spare tyres with me out training . There just too bulky , and I was wondering if there’s anything that you could recommend  for me to use so that this doesn’t happen again ‘

‘Well Patsy , you’ve come to the right place . In the shop we have what’s called a park tyre boot , and it’s a lot smaller than it sounds . What it is , is a set of three extra strong large rubber tyre patches which are self adhesive . They stick onto the inside of a hole in a tyre and will be strong enough to get you home .  They even work on the inside of a mountain bike tyre . And best of all they are only the size of a credit card so take up little or no space . And at just under a fiver they won’t break the bank.’

‘Sounds like there the job Ray ,  I’ll call in some day during the week to get a set ‘

‘We’ll see you then Patsy , and also bear in mind that it is no harm to also bring some ordinary patches and solution as-well as a spare tube so that you’ll be covered if you get more than one puncture on the day ‘

‘Well unfortunately that’s all we have time for today , but we do hope that you enjoyed this the first episode of Radio Ray and look forward to you tuning in again next time . Remember that if there is anything that you would like to be included in any of the upcoming shows the lines remain open on 052 21146 and we also accept email suggestions at  or on the message board . Thanks for listening , and a very good day to you all ‘


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