Shop Wars

Paddy Looby is manager of one of the biggest Lidl supermarkets in the country. For the past while his top shelf stacker has been Sonny Burke. Since coming to work in Lidl Sonny had been getting on like a house on fire with Paddy. He could stack shelves better than any other shelf stacker in any supermarket in the land. He even won the biggest prize in retail, the merchandising shelf stacker of the year award. For the next few months they were best of friends.

Then one day Sonny received a phone call from Rolf Duncan, manager of the local plumbing supply store. Sonny had worked for Rolf for a few years after leaving school and became one of the best shelf stackers in the plumbing store. At the time Peter Sullivan, a World famous shelf stacker was there along with Rolf’s neighbour Paschal Hedderman, so Sonny was always on the quieter aisles and even though he worked incredibly hard and had his aisles super neat, stocked and organised, Peter and Pascal always seemed to get the main aisles. That was why Sonny left to work for Lidl when Paddy came looking for him and was delighted to get the opportunity to look after the main aisles in his shop. Rolf was very sorry to see Sonny go and wouldn’t give him his Christmas bonus so they parted ways with no going away party.

Life in lidl was going along nicely for Sonny after winning the Shelf stacker of the year award until it came to time for his annual review. Paddy lived in a big house with a really nice car which all cost a lot to run. His supermarket was making a good profit but there wasn’t enough left over to pay the staff much extra. Around the same time Rolf happened to be in doing his shopping and seeing the excellent job that Sonny was doing he felt pangs of regret. Peter and Paschal weren’t working out as well as expected and he knew that Sonny’s work ethic fitted right in. That was the reason for the call, he offered Sonny his old job back but with better conditions and a bigger salary than Paddy was willing to pay.

Sonny went to Paddy and told him about Rolfs offer and Paddy said he wasn’t going to match it. Sonny had his family and his future to think of so he accepted Rolfs offer and informed Paddy.

That night Paddy was in the pub. A great man to tell a story after a few pints he would keep his corner of the pub entertained with his anecdotes, gossip and tall tales. One of his buddies was the editor of the local newspaper and asked him if he would write an ould column for the paper once a week. Paddy said that all publicity was good publicity so gladly accepted the offer.

His first edition was mildly received. Hearing about Mrs Moloney buying half a dozen eggs and a slice pan wasn’t really gripping the readers. The editor then suggested that Paddy tell some of the yarns he told in the pub and in the following weeks edition he told a real juicy story about some of the gossip heard behind the counter. Parts were true but parts were made up. The readers loved it. Then Paddy started to get carried away.

Paddy working on one of his newspaper articles in the pub

Paddy really didn’t want Sonny to leave and now felt like a jilted lover. He was pure thick, and with Sonny having to work out his three months notice he took to the keyboard to vent his anger. When a tray of tins of baked beans fell from the top shelf on aisle four and landed on Sonnys knee which swelled up like a balloon Paddy made out it never happened. Sonny got a sick note from the company doctor and Paddy said it couldn’t be sore. The problem was that instead of having a chat directly, Paddy was doing his talking whilst tapping away on the laptop in the corner of the pub. The few lads around him surrounded by empty pint glasses weren’t exactly the best judge of what was suitable content and not.

There has been a downside to the carry on. Sonny stayed out of the pub and the paper. He didn’t engage in any chitchat or gossip about Paddy so is now seen as a person of character. A man of respect. Paddy unfortunately, has been exposed as a bit of an amadan and the help wanted signs in Lidl aren’t getting as many applications as before. Mrs Moloney never went back and told her friends about Paddy’s gossipy antics and they all stopped going in too.